Thursday, September 20, 2007

Things to do when unemployed

Just a few ideas that I came up with during my day today for anyone with lots of time on their hands due to recent unemployment. Nothing much, but a few things that popped into my head and out through my arms and legs throughout my day. What can one do with unlimited time and no job?

  1. Wake up at 5:00 am and go running. Nothing much, I did 5 ½ miles. The weather was nice and if you can get into a good rhythm, the time goes fast and the darkness will take your mind off the number of steps, trees and stars you pass.
  2. Report to the office for your exit interview. Technically, this shouldn’t happen if you are unemployed, but whatever. Be honest. Tell them why you’re leaving. Tell them that you are lonely and you miss your friends and your family. Tell them you miss the seasons and hills. It’s ok to open your heart to the Human Resources person; you’ll probably never talk to him again. That makes him the perfect candidate for spilling your heart out. Of course he’ll judge you, but so do other people, other people that you will see more often.
  3. Say goodbye and go home. The feeling when you ‘badge out’ and turn over the company card, the laptop and your name tag is a relief. It feels like, by giving back your identification, you are actually rewarded by getting your true identification back. I recommend driving home with the windows down and listening to Spoon. You will be tempted to close your eyes and smile into the wind; I recommend only doing the latter.
  4. Make a spinach, tempeh and olive salad and savor it. If you have a sweet tooth, I recommend Tree of Life Unsulphured Mango pieces. They will also make you smile. This is best done in velour pants with NPR in the background.
  5. Turn a verse, if you cant find one, here’s one to use, it's not good:
The downward spiral, inevitably everything falls
Hold on, I’ve got some hell caught in my eyeballs
There was a time
A time, where this path I’m following had seemed to wanna swallow me whole
And in my mind
My mind, I was stranded on the corner of Third and Tomorrow-ago
I didn’t care
No cares, only did I never dared
‘Cause I couldn’t abandon the little me
And so I stared
I stared
Upon the land without a fear of becoming 'it'll be what it'll be'
Soon came a day
A day,
Seven plus one, two, infinity
Slumber brought the energy, something, some spark of life
Some beam of something seemed to bring me to some type of new awakening
Taking me from this present rut of unproductive
that I've been stuck with for as long as I remember
It only fits that before I hit the wall
Right before I had my fall
I fell for you right before I hit September
And the physical?
I used to be miserable
This misguided stranger
With a pocket full of anger
Borderline suicidal, breakin’ the branch
Never thought I'd see the arrival of a second chance
Now, every minute I start, I spend with you
Even a thousand miles apart, you live in my chest
You found a hole in my heart, now I welcome the nest
Now I'm alive enough to organize my mess
And I could write all day, until my fingers turn blue
And never find how to say the things I need to
Cause aint no one invented a word that’s old or new
To communicate the way that I feel about you
I left the road to ruin
And finally know what I'm doin’
You’re the woman I'm the man, Until there aint no more land
 
  1. Realize that the verse probably sounds better spoken out loud than read, but that’s really how poetry should be delivered.
  2. Become somewhat crazy with energy because it’s 1:30 and you’re not at work. I choose to go running again. Since I was still ‘warmed up’ from the morning, I choose to run three laps around Rice University and then back home, for a total of 12 miles, or a ½ marathon. To semi-plagiarize Hunter S. Thompson “It was somewhere around mile 8 when my calves begin to explode.’ That should bring your daily run total to close to 18 miles, but whatever, who’s counting right? The point is, when you see 194 on the scale after you get back, it feels good (unless you weighed 105 when you left, then you didn’t go running, you went to a donut buffet.)
  3. While rehydrating, this is a good time to catch up on some pictures you may have taken recently around the city. I also recommend setting them up in some sort of HTML code, so you can just copy and paste the stuff into a blog that people can read and enjoy, or read and snoop. Either way, it’s dope.
  4. Take a second or two to contemplate if you’re a better writer or photographer. It may take a couple moments actually. It’s also fine to be semi-good with both, especially because you get paid for neither and enjoy both.
  5. Visit a coffee shop to continue your long standing editing of your book. It’ll be super boring if you cant get into the groove and super awesome if you find it. The groove be hidden anywhere, but caffeine will heighten your senses for looking.
  6. Come home and copy/paste your previous images into the bottom of your blog and post. People rarely like to read about your life, but when there’s pictures involved, they’ll stick around a little longer.

Enjoy the pictures, they're better than my writing afterall.... - Hoot

Like Bigfoot, the Beer Can House has eluded me for too long. Here are a couple pictures of it.
You can imagine my disappointment when i realized that the house is more 'coated' in beer cans rather than 'made from' beer cans













































1 comment:

LezLynn said...

good post, friend. the only HR person i talked to when i got "asked to leave" Hallmark was a sadistic, heartless bitch who fired me for a position i no longer held. you are brave to spill your guts to HR people since they're, you know, devil spawn and all. congrats on the reidentification and hurry home!